The mens’ stuff

A man walks out to  the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the  cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like  Frank."

Passenger:  'Who?'

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all  the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened  like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are  always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was  a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could  golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a  Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an  amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really  special."

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He  remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to  order and which fork to eat them with.. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank  Feldman,he  could do everything  right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew  the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I  always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and  he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never  answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always  immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never  made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank  Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet  him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He  died.  I'm married to his f......ing   widow."

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Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. 
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' 
The woman shakes her head no. 
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' 
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. 
  The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. 
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. 
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

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