The mens’ stuff

A man enters a confessional, and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned with Fannie Green every week for the last month.."

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven.  Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional.

"Father, it has been two months since my last confession.  I have sinned with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the Priest.  "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

The next morning in church, the Priest is preparing to deliver his sermon, when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.  All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle, and sits down in front of the Altar.  Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.  The Priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The Priest turns to the altar boy and asks in a whisper, "Is that Fannie Green?"

The altar boy replies ................. "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."

Loading mentions Retweet

Sehr geehrte Frau Müller,

Ich möchte gerne klarstellen, dass ich keine exotische Tänzerin bin und auch nie war!

Ich arbeite in einem Baumarkt und habe meiner Tochter erzählt, wie hektisch die Woche war, als es so viel geschneit hat.
Ich habe ihr erzählt, dass alle Schneeschaufeln ausverkauft waren. Als ich dann doch noch eine Schaufel im Lager gefunden habe,
haben sich die Kunden regelrecht darum gestritten. Ihre Zeichnung zeigt mich nicht beim Table-Dancing, es zeigt mich,
wie ich die letzte Schaufel verkaufe. In Zukunft werde ich die Hausaufgaben meiner Tochter genauer anschauen, bevor
sie diese mit in die Schule nimmt.

Mit freundlichen Grüssen

Frau Schmidt 

Loading mentions Retweet

Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'
Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.

The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

       Maria: 'Your husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'
Wife: (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora...the gardener did.'
Wife: 'So, how much do you want?'

Loading mentions Retweet

This week we celebrate a special birthday ...
Monica Lewinsky turns 44. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth...

They grow up so fast, don't they ?

Loading mentions Retweet