Why athletes can't have regular jobs or run for public office...
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS OR RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE....
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do
what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me.
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to
rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win theSuper Bowl."
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men.
He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called
a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no
matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful.)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect
him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself
above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew
Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano
why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm
going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January.)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with
you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who
received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford - I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious
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A plane answer
A mother and her young son were flying Ryanair from Dublin to Malaga.
The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his
mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby
cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight
attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,
why don't big planes have baby planes?" The busy flight attendant smiled and said, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "Yes, she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes
because Ryanair always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain
that to you."
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